Thursday, December 15, 2005

Gratefulness

Well, it's the end of the semester for my husband in his first year of law school. I've never seen anything so vigorous in my life next to child rearing! But he is an amazingly dedicated worker, and practically flew home in a state of euphoria after just finishing his last final exam for the term. It made me start to think about how God has been so good to us since we've been here. (Well, he has always been good to us, but the last few months are freshest in my mind.)


Here is a list of the things that I'm so thankful to the Lord for:
(and yes, I should have done this at Thanksgiving, but better late than never...)

1. Knowing Him and His truth.
2. The church He has led us to here in Nashville.
3. The wonderful friends he has given us, especially since our move.
4. My husband's scholarship and stipend.
5. My jobs.
6. The Ummels, who graciously and with much faith traded cars with us so that I could actually
HAVE my jobs!
7. Keeping Nick from serious illness during the semester, even though he pushed so hard.
8. Nick's mother's generosity of flying us up to Michigan for Thanksgiving so that we wouldn't have such a long, expensive and exhausting trip.
9. Getting the chance to attend Ben and Kyla's wedding in Bloomington.
10. Getting to meet my brother at Fort Campbell next week, as he flies in for the last time from
Iraq. (and then having him only live about 50 minutes from us for at least the next 10 months!)

Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.
I Chronicles 29:13

Friday, November 18, 2005

Pick a line and walk it

My husband and I just returned from the Nashville premiere of "Walk the Line," the story of Johnny and June Carter Cash. We had heard some great previews about it, and seeing that much of the story happened right here at home, we were excited to sort of "take part" in the history. We even purchased tickets to the Regal IMAX theatre at the Grand Olde Opry, and were especially looking forward to seeing Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon (a Nashville native) in action.

Before we left for the movie, I said to Nick, "You know, I hope this isn't some big bleeding heart plea for the legitimacy of adultery," as I knew that June Carter Cash had been married before marrying Johnny. Of course, I didn't know any of the details of her divorce (actually turned out to be two divorces), but I wasn't betting on Hollywood presenting a biblical view on the sanctity of marriage, either.

Well, once again, Hollywood didn't disappoint. As the credits were rolling at the end of the show, people were clapping while Nick and I were the only ones hanging our heads in disgust. The audience must have seen a movie about a man who was courageous or brave, who took some sort of stand for something he believed in, maybe someone who really sacrificed for the good of others. Perhaps Nick and I were watching another movie. What WE saw was a man who was childish, selfish, narcissistic, an adulterer and a drug addict. At the end, while he was calling June Carter an "angel," we were watching him continue to pursue the woman he had been pursuing while he was still married to the mother of his children. Hollywood didn't forget to stick in certain token ideologies such as, "Johnny, the reason you are such a wreck is because you don't love yourself." We could see, however, that the reason he was such a mess was that he loved himself too much and nobody else. Given that both Johnny and June were coming from broken marriages, there was also that token cameo appearance of the "tactless and uncompassionate Christian" who confronts June in a store, telling her that divorce is an abomination to the Lord and that marriage is supposed to be forever. Obviously, doing something like that WOULD be tactless and uncompassionate, but we got the point- BIBLICAL CHRISTIANITY is what is tactless and uncompassionate.

The even sicker part of all of this is that the whole of America (even many Christians) will eat this up like Christmas candy, and apply it to their own everyday ideologies: "Well, if Johnny and June Cash did it, then what's the big deal? Don't people still love and admire them? Didn't you see how June LOVED him and made him feel better about himself? Didn't you hear the beautiful music behind it? Look, he sang about Jesus...he believed in God..."

I will end by saying that I don't know what the state of their souls were when they died, so obviously I won't make a judgement there. But if what we saw of their lives from the mid-50's
to the late 60's was true, then it is a sad day when we use those scenarios to celebrate something that should be mourned.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child

I'm in the middle of the finding-a-nanny-job process. It's depressing-- not because I'm job hunting, but because of what I see in the children who are screaming for their parents to discipline them. Well, not literally "screaming," but the posture of these little hearts are desperate for someone to guide them- to PARENT them.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
(Proverbs 22:15)

For some reason, I find that many Christians who ascribe to the Bible will search high and low to find wisdom on childrearing in every form of literature but the book to which they ascribe. I was interviewing with a family who are professing Christians and attend a local PCA church. They have two sons, ages 4 and 2 1/2. They asked me to describe how I would handle a situation where a child was being beligerently disobedient. I recounted how I made a particular two year old sit on his bed for disobeying. Immediately, they looked at me in bewilderment and said, "Well.....that's interesting. What do you do if he gets up off the bed???" My brain was wildly rolling it's eyes and sighing heavily. I spent the afternoon with this family, as per the mother's request, to see if I was a right "fit." Fair enough, and thank God for it. I helplessly looked on as the mother tried to engage her young sons in some games. The older brother was extremely demanding and would often hurt the younger. There was no recourse for this, no teaching this little tyrant that that was unacceptable behavior. Just much begging and pleading: "Hey boys, look at Mommy!" (Clumsily doing a somersault). "Ok! Now you guys do the same!" (Younger Brother enthusiastically attempts to please Mommy by mimicking her...no- too late- Edler Brother pushes him over and proceeds with his rendition of the game...) I don't recall that "Mommy" ever used the word "no." I can't tell you how painful it was to keep from suggesting: " I think that if you told Junior that if he disobeyed you again that you would give him a spanking, and then followed through with it, you would see much progress in his behavior, and subsequently, his attitude."

I tried to feel sorry for this family, thinking that maybe I could "help" them. But then as they began to explain that their last nanny just didn't work out because she was from the "days when they just spanked for everything...", I realized that this would be a hopelessly depressing position to be in, helplessly watching their little monsters turn into bigger and better ones and the late 30-something parents quickly turning into 60-year old slaves.

The really sick part of this all-too-common scenario is that the "child psychology" industry (notice I said "industry" and not "field") is making a killing off of this. Countless books, seminars, videos, tapes will talk about the evils of spanking, but there are about 2, 546 alternative, herbal ways to have a "happier, healthier" (aka..selfish) child. However, the trick is, Mom and Dad, to find just the "right" method that works for you. Hope you have alot of money saved up to do this, because the publishers of this garbage are already laughing all the way to the bank!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

North vs. South

I am the king of hypocrites (or queen, rather.) Each morning, I peruse my favorite and not-so-favorite blogs, sighing and rolling my eyes at those who haven't posted in the last millenia, because don't they know their blogs exist to entertain me....!?! (sound of popping bubble...)

I then realize that I'm the chief of sinners (or chieftess, if you please), because I've been as uncommitted to keeping up my posts as they have! My apologies, yet again...

For the first time since we've been here (Nashville), it's gotten cold. This means about 50-something during the day and 30-something at night. I mentioned to Nick that we left the north 3 months ago...why has it followed us? Up until about 3 days ago, we continued to be spoiled with summer-like weather. In fact, last Thursday, we saw a thermometer that read 90 degrees! I always get a sinister sort of satisfaction looking on weather.com to see that Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (my original home) has been consistently about 20 degrees colder than it has been here. When I tell my mom about this, she always says, "But don't you want the SEASONS??" To which I reply, "We still have the seasons...fall foliage is beautiful here! The leaves change into beautiful shades of gold and red and actually stay on the trees for all to enjoy up through Thanksgiving instead of falling off after a week or two."

Another thing we've come to love about the south aside from the spoil-us-rotten weather is the friendliness and hospitality. The underlying criticalness and pessimism which seems to permeate the north has not been found to reign in the everyday attitudes of most people with whom we've come in contact here. It's very refreshing, and it causes us to look at our own attitudes, be humbled, and to desire to slough off our rough edges.

There also seems to be a greater difference between femininity and masculinity in the south. I know I may receive some swift objections to what I'm about to say, but let me set myself up for ridicule anyhow:) I've noticed that men hold doors open more for women, address them as ma'am or even darlin' (..it just means "dear one!" What could be so offensive about that?) It is understood that women will take time to get their nails or hair done more often, as if it is part of a more normal routine than a special occasion. (Okay, here come the protests...) Yes, I understand that manicures and hair-dos do not a godly woman make. No, Proverbs 31 doesn't mention nails or hair (although it does refer to the woman taking time to dress herself in beautfiul clothing). My point is that women seem to take the time to make themselves appear more feminine than I've noticed in the north. In addition to that, it seems as if this is an understood fact of life in the sight of men, instead of rolling their eyes at it or commenting on the silliness of women primping and preening.

I am sure as time goes on, there will be things we miss about the Yanks or our enchantment will turn to disenchantment. No, we haven't developed southern drawls yet, and our nordic, midwestern accents still shine through as we blunt our "o" and "ah" sounding vowels from time to time. We still move much more quickly through traffic and get very irritated in long lines while the cashier is asking about her current customer's new grandbaby. But we can feel the tenseness slowly releasing from our faces and the corners of our mouths lifting a bit more. Yes, our society hates distinction and any distinction that isn't favorable to one side or another will always be looked on as an offense. That's okay. We still love it here, and will probably continue to boast about it for a long while. We know that we're suffering from "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" disease.
But our grass is still GREEN.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Music City Musings

As I write this, I am stretched out on our 1930's vintage falling apart sofa. I love this sofa. I want it to last forever, even maybe one more move, but I know that it probably won't. Soon after we got engaged, Nick found this piece of furniture on a whim at this dive of a used furniture store on Walnut Street in Bloomngton. He called me up from his cell phone one afternoon and said, "You've gotta' come see this!"
"Now?" I asked, as I was in the middle of something.
Several minutes later, I met him at "Dan's Used Furniture," and he was grinning ear to ear, very much pleased with himself. "Isn't this a great couch? I thought it looked like you."
So, we looked very closely at it, sitting on it, seeing if both of us would fit comfortably lounging on it as we would be watching movies together in the time to come. Yes, we definitely loved it and slapped down the 75 necessary dollars to take it with us. Our very first piece of furniture together. Sigh. Fond memories...

It is now 8:05, Friday morning, about a year and two months from that incident. About 20 minutes ago, I kissed my husband goodbye for the day as he trudged off to the law school and I back up to our 6th floor abode. We just returned from having breakfast at the Pancake Pantry, a must-do tradition in Nashville. It has THE BEST breakfast in the world, but you have to get there really early in the morning if you don't want to wait in line forever, even on a weekday. And even though I've not tried breakfast in every single establishment in the world, I'm willing to set my cap at this one. I thought about coming back, donning some exercise clothes and taking a brisk walk around Centennial Park along with all the other ambitious, gotts-beat-my-body-and-make-it-my-slave-types, but I've had second thoughts on that. It hurts when I swallow, and my body already feels pretty beaten. Nick didn't feel so good this morning, either. We've both been burning the candle at both ends lately. We get up at 6am and usually don't get to sleep until pretty late. Nick usually tries to get to school by 7am and often doesn't return until 7 or 8 in the evening. I've been trekking all over the place lately, as my almost 16-year old Camry has taken a turn for the worst. Looks like we'll be a one-car family for a while, which means Rebecca will have to become a stick driver. I've had two people attempt to teach me to drive a standard- my dad and my husband. To keep the peace, I've decided to not have a man, the car owner or a family member take on this task again. My friend Heather Ummel (who has also had nightmarish experiences with stick driving instructors) has kindly offered to teach me in the next few days. So, look out world! Well...at the least the people in Nashville!

Ok. My body is telling me it is time to shut down for a little while. Time to take a nap....I love this sofa....

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Here's the news from Countrymusicland....

Well, it's still August, so that means I'm up to two posts per month thus far. Much better than my stats throughout the whole of summer.

Nick and I packed up our life into a 16-foot Penske the morning of August 8th. With the help of our faithful friend, Lucas Weeks, we were able to hitch my 15-year old Camry in tow. As far as time goes, we were really stretching it, as we left Bloomington about an hour later than planned. But as usual, God was gracious, and got us, our life in the truck, and my car to 2108 Hayes Street in Nashville just in the nick of time. We pulled into meet five of the congregants from our new church, Reformed Baptist. We were tired and ragged and almost didn't get to the apartment office before they closed so that we could actually get our key. Later that evening, after our new friends moved us in (all the way up to the sixth floor!), we were relieved to see a familiar face at our door- Archie Ummel, who is the son-in-law of our pastor from Bloomington. He helped us return the moving truck and then treated us to dinner. We were ever grateful.

As of now, our apartment is about 98% moved in and in order. It is about a block and a half from the law school, and it is actually called "The Historic Lee Apartments." The only thing I know so far about its history is that it is over 100 years old. The high ceilings and hardwood floors make for a really charming home. Even the elevator door is one of those old-fashioned, bronze-wired things.

The catalyst that got us moved in even as quickly as we did was Nick's mom and stepdad coming for the weekend. I had never had "the in-laws" come for a visit before, so I was a little panicked as we did a blitz unpack and clean 24 hours before their arrival. We had a great weekend, though, and went "honkey-tonking" on Saturday night. Everybody who wants to be somebody in the country music world was singing their hearts out in all the bars along Broadway, the main drag that runs through downtown Nashville. We found a place that wasn't too crowded and played pool while a young woman sang everything from Janis Joplin to Alison Krauss. She was quite good, and I had the chance to talk with her a bit after her performance. A few more Nashville traditions of which we took part were going out for barbeque and eating breakfast at the Pancake Pantry. The barbeque was quite good, and we had some live music to boot. The Pancake Pantry was worth the wait....we waited about 25 minutes on a Monday morning! We tried to go Sunday morning before church, but the line was out the door and halfway down the block....no foolin'.

Before returning to Michigan, Mom and Carl helped me do some things around the house. For instance, Mom brought her posh knife sharpener. Not only did we sharpen my knives, but she told me exactly which one was for which use. For instance, I've been doing it ALL wrong this whole time. I've subjected my paring knives to just about everything that has needed to be sliced, chopped, or just plain butchered. The bigger knives have always sort of scared me, so they've just served as decoration up until now.

I've two nanny job offers in the wings as I write. This is a real blessing, as I will be the "breadwinner" while Nick slaves away in the "lawbrary" all day. Speaking of, Nick really loves law school so far. He is already burning the candle at both ends and comes home each evening completely exhausted, but as he puts it, "it's a good tired." There's nothing like taking care of a tired and needy man:)

We've kind of been shut out from the rest of the world, though, as my computer has been doing some funky things within the last day or so. Also, as of now, we've only one cell phone between us, and it is refusing to work. We plan on getting some new ones within the week.

On a final note, I was getting ready to go to one of my interviews this morning, and I opened our medicine cabinet to find the biggest cockroach I've ever seen on the Q-tip box. I recoiled immediately and slammed the door shut. I haven't opened it since, and am leaving it to Nick to take care of when he gets home. I'm sure he'll love doing battle with the monster coackroach after spending the whole day in somberness at the "lawbrary." :)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Return from blogging stupor and Homestarrunner

I know, I know, I know...it's been three months. I've had so many ideas/rough drafts in my head all summer, but for some reason, wasn't able to finish them. I really think I need to just blog anyway, and not care so much about "refinement." I've gotten into the habit of being in awe of everyone else's entries, which creates further disdain for my potential musings. So, stop being so eloquent, everybody!

Soooo...I've been wanting to do a plug for homestarrunner.com. I know, it's been around for years, and everyone who will ever care about it has already seen it and a.) continues to be a regular weekly fan or b.) visited it once or twice and said, "This is stupid," or "I don't get it..."
(It took me a little while to warm up to it.)
My suggestion for the homestarrunner rookie is to click on the little icon that says "First Time Here," where you'll get a little introduction from Homestar (of whom the cartoon is named) and Strongbad (who is, as he tells you, the real star of the show). Next, my suggestion is to go to the "Characters" icon and spend some time there. I think avoiding this step is why most people never go back or say "I don't get it." Like me, they immediately went to the Strong Bad emails, where the bulk of the humor is in reference to other characters and their particular idiosyncracies, and because they didn't have a grasp on the basics of the particular personalities, didn't get it and moved on. After viewing the characters' bios, I would suggest emails such as "some kinda' robot," "dullard," "sisters," "kid's book," "autobiography," and of course, seemingly everyone's favorite, "dragon." Another venue at the site is their "toons" or "shorts" icons. These take a bit more time, as they are a little more in-depth than a typical strong bad email.

An interesting bit about the creators of this site (Mike and Matt Chapman..aka. The Brothers Chaps) is that it all started sort of by accident. They were learning some computer things that I know absolutely nothing about myself (so I won't even attempt to say what it is or was), and they dedided to try it out by writing a children's book. This is how they came up with the main characters for the cartoon. After some time and development of skill, the site grew and became more refined. They did absolutely NO ADVERTISING for it. The popularity grew by word of mouth. If I'm not mistaken, the site started in 1999, and today, they make a good living just by T-shirt sales. They sell a bunch of other paraphernalia, too, such as sweatshirts, backpacks, frisbees, cd's and DVD's, and even action figures! (The fact that they sell action figures might seem a little ridiculous, but after getting to know the site, one most likely gets it.)

In an interview, the Brothers Chaps stated why they created the site and how it was different from many others. One distinct factor is their use of wit via pop culture without succumbing to the typical lewd humor and profanity. They explained that several years ago, everyone was creating a "new and funny website," but they were all laced with vulgarity, trying to serve that up as humor. All of these sites, aside from being incredibly distasteful, were all boringly the same. They wanted to provide entertainment that used clever wit sans sleaze. So, my hat is off to Mike and Matt Chapman for rising above the typical, pop-culture fare and still giving us something to laugh about each week!

www. homestarrunner.com

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Belated Mother's Day Post

Let me just say that I was out of town for Mother's Day, and the more I see people saluting their mothers via their blogs, the more I wish I would have planned ahead.

So, Happy Belated Mother's Day, Ma. This one's for you.


My mom grew up in a family of five children, of whom she was the youngest and only girl. Her family was poor, as my grandfather ("Mickey") made little money working in a factory. But Mom would always tell us (her own five children) that she and her brothers were never in want of fun growing up. They would make games and toys out of bottlecaps or play "release the dungeon" with other neighborhood kids until they were too tired to run anymore. Her older brothers provided much entertainment- perhaps a bit too much for their little sister. My uncle Tim (who seems to have been the spitting image of "Calvin" in the famous cartoon Calvin and Hobbes) would do things like line up my mom's paper dolls and then get her in on a"fun" game of "target practice with the beebee gun." I think it sounded like a great idea to her at first, but the enthusiasm began to fade after Uncle Tim proved to be a decent shot.

Mom married at age 20 and had me almost exactly one year later. Complete "Jesus Freak Hippies," she and my dad decided to live out in the country. Mom had always been a "city girl," and recalls when she and Dad were first married being scared to death of whatever wild animal might be lurking around the house. My dad was a carpenter back then, and I can remember when I was about three and Ben, my little brother, was one, Mom would put us in the car to go have lunch with Daddy at his worksite.

We never had much money growing up, either, but Mom would always keep us entertained by teaching us songs or teaching us games that she and her brothers made up when they were younger. She would teach us to build "forts" in the living room with chairs and blankets. She would invent games with the garden hose on hot days. All five kids learned how to jitterbug, waltz and polka because of Mom. She LOVED music, and if she wasn't singing herself, music was always playing in the house. In fact, during VBS in the summertime, the church down the road always asked my mom to "do the music," since she could play guitar and knew so many great Bible songs.

One thing that I'll never forget is that Mom insisted we respect our elders. We were NEVER to call our aunts or uncles just by their first names. It was always "Aunt Patti" or "Uncle Dean." And we were always to refer to an officer as a "policeman" and not a "cop"- that was rude. If we had company, we were to politely greet them upon their arrival and say goodbye before they walked out the door- not lock ourselves up in our rooms the whole time playing by ourselves or reading books. Talking back or pouting or stomping off would always result in a sore backside. In fact, Mom was very diligent in disciplining us. Once when I was about three, we were at a friend's bridal shower. After the bride-to-be opened a set of wooden spoons and the guests were oohing and ahhing, I sang out, "Spoons to spank! Spoons to spank!" Mom recalls many of the women glaring at her. She didn't care, though. She feared God more than she feared the opinions of those flimsy women. Mom was (and still is) a tough cookie, and she depended on God to give her strength to be a strong mother. When my brother hit adolescence, he decided one day to "test the waters" when my dad was at work. At this point, Ben had grown much taller than Mom. There was no doubt about it- his attitude reeked of challenging Mom to hold to her principles of discipline. Knowing this (and knowing her size compared to his), my mom calmly went to her bedroom, shut the door, pulled down my dad's belt from the closet and prayed to God for strength and guidance. Needless to say, my brother didn't challenge her much after that!

If there is anyone in this world who knows how to make lemonade out of lemons when life gives them to you, it would be my Mom. I've seen Mom suffer many hardships and disappointments throughout her life, but she always smiled and took care of all of us during those trials. My family has seen everything from a loss of a job to a baby that wasn't expected to live for twenty four hours, and Mom perservered, with God's help, through all of it. Recently, I was talking to my dad over the phone, and he was telling me that my mom had fallen down the steps a few days prior. After hearing the thuds and her cry, he rushed into the room to help her. When he reached her, she was obviously in pain, but managed to crack a joke, making fun of herself for her "blunder." I could hear Dad smiling over the phone, "Isn't that just like your mom, Becca?"

Mom always made us appreciate what we had. Whenever we took vacations or went out on a rare treat to a restaurant, she would always remind us to thank our dad. In fact, many times, she would start the chorus, "Thank you, Daddy," and we would chime in. Whenever our family continued to grow, Dad had to build an addition onto our two-bedroom house. One afternoon, while walking down our gravel road from the school bus stop, I saw a sign hanging from the newly framed addition that my mom made: "Thank You, Dad!" She was everyone's constant cheerleader.

This brings me to a plug for women who decide to be "just a housewife" or a stay-at-home mom. My mom has been ridiculed by strangers, friends, and yes, even other family members for "wasting her talents" or horror upon horrors- submitting to her husband in doing so! As the world would view it, because of the number of children in our family and because my dad's income wasn't large, it would have been "practical" or "socially responsible" for her to go to work to provide us with a "better quality of life." (Which translates into providing us with designer clothes, more toys, taking airplanes on vacations instead of driving, staying in hotels instead of tents or cabins). By the grace of God, my parents saw the importance of having a mother raise her children instead of giving them to someone else to raise while she goes off and "does something with her life." Well, I've seen the children of many of the women who decided to "utilize their talents" or buy toys and clothes and plane rides and hotels to show them their love. More often than not, these children are ruined. Nothing pleases them, nothing tastes. They grow up to be, well, overgrown children.

Outside of being "just a housewife and mother," my mom DOES have a talent that many people don't know about: She is an excellent writer and storyteller. (I keep telling her she should start her own blog- Lord knows she has so many stories to tell!) In fact, many years ago, she considered taking a correspondence course on writing children's literature. I remember the short story she submitted for the school's review. It was about a little bird who always wanted to be something else- a frog, a duck, a bear- anything but what God had made it. Only until it had become prey to another animal was it thankful for being a bird, for its only escape was to be able to fly. This brings me to my final point and close: God made me woman. He made me to be a loving wife, and Lord willing, in the future, a loving mother. I shamefully admit, that when I left home for college, I was planning on "making something of myself;" not being like Mom. Since then, God has opened my eyes to the beauty and high calling of a stay at home wife, and I pray that God will soon give me the opportunity to be "just" a stay-at-home mom. I know that I will have much to learn, but I am so thankful that my mom was not ashamed of what God called her to do and became an example for what I will be doing.

Thanks, Mom.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

God's Provisions

In preparation for the big move in August, I had been doing an online search for churches in Nashville. Ever since the arrival of our newest pastor at our church here in Bloomington, we have been more than intrigued with the Reformed Baptist perspective (the background from which he comes), so we were more than pleased to find that there is a Reformed Baptist church in Nashville. ( rbcnashville.org)

Soon after finding their site online, Nick suggested that we go check them out. At this point, I should say that we were particularly interested in hearing their head pastor, Stephen Gambill, preach. We had downloaded and listened to a few sermons and read his bio/testimony online, which is truly an astounding one. To make sure that he would actually be there and preaching when we planned to visit, I emailed him, and he promptly replied to not only welcome us to visit, but to have dinner with him and his family that Sunday evening.

So, this past weekend, we traveled the necessary four and a half hours to reach sunny, already summer-like, balmy Nashville. We spent Saturday apartment hunting, and came to the conclusion that it might be in our best interest to purchase a condo instead of wasting money on rent for the next three years....but more on that subject another time. We arrived at Reformed Baptist fashionably late on Sunday morning. The church is made up of about 50 people (it is a church plant from Louisville), and it meets in an historic brick house that is actually owned by another small and wandering congregation, Grace Presbyterian. Their worship service was a modest meeting in what seems to have been a garage or large utility room that sits off to the side of the house. Music was mostly hymns and very familiar praise songs, simply accompanied by a man playing keyboard. I took note of how full a sound is produced by a small congregation singing in such a small space. Most of them were melody singers, loud and full. I think Nick and I were the only ones who sang harmony, but the one-line singing was rather appealing. Then came prayers and scripture reading and sermon. Typical liturgy format for us, anyway. The sermon was sound, meaty, biblical (always a plus:), and CONVICTING. We were loving it already. Even though the preaching itself lasted about 72 minutes, no bother. We've been primed for that kind of endurance for the last several years:)

Afterward, there was a fellowship meal, which lasted for about an hour and a half. (Apparently, this is a weekly potluck they have after EVERY Sunday morning service.) Following the meal, which was shared by all who ate and fellowshiped throughout the house, everyone reconvened back into the "sanctuary" to celebrate the Lord's supper and to sing a final hymn. It was truly a blessed Sabbath. We were immediately flocked to by young couples, older couples, children. Reminded us of home:) Where were we from? Were we coming back to Nashville? Would we need a place to stay? We would be more than welcome to stay with them when we return....will we need help moving into our new place?? Many names, addresses, and phone numbers were quickly scrawled on a yellow piece of paper which was promptly tucked into our Bible.

Eric and Lydia, a young engaged couple, offered to drive us around that afternoon to search for more prospective places to live. They were so helpful and informative. It was great having time with them in the car, not just to talk about apartments and such, but to get to know them and ask questions about the church. In the evening, we followed them to Pastor Gambill's house on the north-east side of Nashville where we played with their children, jumped on their backyard trampoline, checked out Pastor Gambill's "study," which is a one-room structure that sits at the far end of his backyard, and ate homemade pizza. We were asked to talk about where we were from, how we came to know the Lord, and what our future plans were.

After asking Stephen about two or three times to give the "long version" of his short testimony that is on their website, he finally conceded and unfolded his story of how the Lord completely chased after him, as the Hound of Heaven often tends to do. It so reminded me of Saul to Paul, and I remembered that the same God that dealt with Saul in the New Testament had also dealt with this young pastor that was sitting before us.

About 8pm, Nick and I remembered that we had a four and half hour trip ahead of us. After many thanks and goodbyes, we headed out, recounting the weekend's events. About a half an hour into the trip, we heard this horrible sound, as if an out-of-control vehicle was coming from behind, ready for collision. Really, it was a tire that had blown on our car. Aside from putting on a "donut" that Nick had in the trunk, we weren't sure what to do, as we were still so far from home and there were no auto establishments open to provide us with a new tire. We called the Gambill's, and after explaining the situation, Stephen immediately came to our aid and offered us his home for the night. After getting good rest that night and new tires the next morning, we finally headed home.

We couldn't help but continuing to note how God was so good to us in His provisions. The move from Bloomington to Nashville is anticipated to be a bittersweet one. Bloomington has become our home. Church of the Good Shepherd has become our most beloved family. But as God went with the Israelites as they left Egypt to wander into the wildnerness, God has already gone before us to prepare for us the things we need, just as He did several years ago, before coming to the unknown world of Bloomington.



But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Monday, April 25, 2005

God Is Not the Author of Confusion

For the first time in sixteen years, I do not have a job (and am not scrambling to look for one!). Well, I don't have "job" in the post-modern sense. I am a housewife. It's really neat how this works. Check it out:

1. The alarm goes off in the morning. I get up and proceed to make my husband breakfast and coffee (that he can take with him to work) and pack his lunch.

2. Nick leaves for work. I eat my breakfast, do devotions and check email. I make a list for myself detailing the work for the day and proceed to do them in that order. For probably the first time in my life, I am able to accomplish all of these things pretty consistently. This includes all housework, shopping (and having the time to find the lowest price for things) cleaning, organizing, mailing, sufficient Bible reading and prayer (it's amazing how much I can actually pray for other people instead of letting it fall by the wayside like I used to do), exercise (which makes me happy and makes my husband happy:), and cooking. I also am able to minister to those who need it. I have been able to visit and meet with those who need prayer and encouragement or just a friend to hang out with. I am able to give myself to the needs of our church without feeling harried or stressed out, thinking, "Great. One more thing I have to put on my schedule....and I still haven't gotten my laundry done!"

3. Nick leaves for work and is able to immerse himself completely in what he has been called to do: provide. He doesn't worry about the things that needed mailing or the transactions that had to be made at the bank. They've already been made- by me. He is able to keep our cars all lubed up and running. He is not thinking, "Oh, when am I going to fit in the oil change?! It is my turn to do laundry this week, and it just keeps piling up!"
Our finances run systematically, because when he comes home from work, there is a meal waiting on the table, and everything is in its place. After his stomach is nice and full, his glucose level goes up, blood pressure goes down, and he is able to give a bit more concentration to organizing our finances on our computer. Then, we actually have time to spend together and put energy into our marriage. Given that the divorce rate is currently about fifty percent in the U.S., I deem this pretty important.

Now, it may seem like I'm coming off as arrogant or "holier-than-thou," but let me explain. When we got married just six months ago, Nick and I were both working. I still did much of the household duties (and he would do a significant amount, also). We were still trying to adjust to two people living as one flesh. To put it quite plainly, we were running ragged. Everything was always a mess. Everything was turning into "just one more thing we have to take care of..." or,
"Did you do such and such today?"

"No, I thought you were going to take care of that."

"Well, yeah, on my lunch break...but then we just got so busy and traffic was terrible and there was a long line...."

My point is there is now order and not confusion. This makes life much sweeter. It makes our household sweeter and our marriage sweeter. It provides a way for us to give to others with a sweeter countenance. Now, I can already hear the objections:

"Well, what if you can't afford to live off of just one income?"

"My mother raised six kids, PLUS had a full-time job, PLUS ran the PTA, AND wrote and published her own book on how to do all these things before the sixth child was out of the house..." (My reply to this is: Ummm..when?? At three in the morning when her children were sleeping? Did she then rise cheerfully before her own children to cook them breakfast and to see them off to school? Did she go and do a stellar job at her workplace because she had the proper amount of sleep and was able to fully concentrate? Was she able to be there completely for her husband and children after school and work?) My point is that in this scenario, something would have had to ultimately suffer, and I am hard pressed to think that a boss at work would have put up with anything suffering on his clock.

At my last job, my assistant branch manager was amazing. She knew how to do EVERYTHING. She always ran around like a chicken with her head cut off, but ready to greet everyone with a Coke and a smile. She probably put in about 70 hours a week at work. However, I always noticed that she looked exhausted. She had not much time for proper sleep or exercise. She complained about her "pudgy belly." There were always these big, dark circles under her eyes. After making the comment that she should take a vacation, she replied, "Oh, I have one coming up next week."
"Great! " I said. "Are you going to go anywhere?"

"No, " she said. "Bert (her husband) and I have to clean the house."

Now keep in mind that on top of being Superwoman at work (and I'm not being facetious here, she truly was), she DID do alot of housework even when she wasn't on vacation. But somehow, it wasn't enough, and she became a slave to toil and lost the notion of enjoying rest with her husband.

I know, I know. I'm naive and newly married without children. True. But I look at it this way: Would you train a runner by saying, "Ok, you are going to run a marathon tomorrow. You can't stop and you can't walk. But you have to finish the race. If you are sick, exhausted, throwing up, delirious, too bad. Everyone else does it, so buck up."? Eventually, I know that I will have children. I know that everything won't be as cut and dry as it is now. I know that I will have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning because of a screaming infant or I will have to stop whatever chore I'm doing because little Nicky Jr. threw up all over the couch. But, by God's grace, I will be able to run that marathon with a little more stamina and preparation by preparing for it now.

This is all to say that there is something to be said for reading God's Word and seeing what He values and sees as important. He sees the importance of a wife as a "help meet" for her husband. In Genesis 2, God said that Adam needed a "helper." In biblical times, a newly married couple just spent time with each other the first year of their marriage. People knew the hardships that came with life, and they understood the importance of strengthening the home from the very beginning. In Proverbs 31, it says that an excellent wife is worth far more than rubies. It goes on to say that her energies are toward her husband and household. She clothes them, watches over her household, she has time to reach out her hand to the poor and needy, she smiles at the future, and her children and husband call her blessed. That's what the Bible says, anyway. The covers of Cosmo, Self, First, and Glamour show an air-brushed, perfectly shaped and put together woman with headlines such as:
"How to have a perfect house, garden, body, dinner party, sex life, children (when they're convenient, of course!) and career in just 10 easy steps!" (In the meantime, the bottom left-hand corner of the cover displays a shot of Hollywood's hottest couple in cahoots. Guess the ten step airbrushed plan didn't work so well for them...).

I am getting to the point after belaboring it to death. God is not the author of confusion. His yoke IS easy and His government IS light. My home and marriage are not perfect, but my husband and I are continuing to see that the more we trust God and take Him at His word, the less confusion there is and the sweeter life is. By this, we are glorifying Him. We only see this by His grace (not by our own intellect or pride), and we pray that He will continue to show His truth and mercy in our lives as we walk by faith and not by sight.

"Well, Rebecca...nice to see that you have all this time to blog!" Alright, alright, alright...back to my housework! :)



Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Ps. 34:8

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

An Eternal Perspective

I've been reading "Out of My Mind" by the late Joseph T. Bayly. This book is a collection of articles from his column that once appeared in Eternity magazine. In his article from June 1964, he tells a story of a church editor who announced that he had colon cancer. An "old war horse" of a man replied, "Good. Thank God for it. You don't begin to live until you know you are going to die."

"Dying men aren't afraid of their reputations. And they throw everything into battle." (Bayly, 1964). This got me thinking: Aren't we all dying men? The men listening to the tragic news of this church editor's cancer were no less dying than the man with the cancer himself. I think of people who are in their fifties, and most probably, they will be with us for about twenty or thirty some odd years according to medical studies on today's human life span. I am thirty. This means, unless the Lord takes me sooner, I'll be here for another forty to fifty years or so. Most people that have gone before us have been dust for at least twenty lifetimes.

What does that do to the psyche to realize that?

When I realized this last night as I read Bayly's article, it revealed freedom. It made me realize that to cling to this life is akin to clinging to smoke vapors and to cling to the treasures of this world is truly a waste of time and of a life. I thought about all the people who have gone before. Did they realize that their riches or even want of riches would be irrelevant in the reality of heaven or hell? Ok, maybe "riches" is too cliche. What about careers or social standing? What about beauty or fitness?

So, this begs the question: What on earth are we here for and where do we go at the end? I'm not going to answer this by prefacing, "Because I am Christian, I believe..." or "According to the new best-seller, The Purpose Driven Life..." I will simply say the Bible says many things in answer to this question. I am not a theologian and not articulate enough to delve into an entire dissertation, but I will say that in Micah 6:8, it states: "He has showed you, o man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."


Now, I've gotten off on a bit of a tangent, and Bayly's article was titled "Join the Church and Escape," as he exhorted Christians not to think of the church as a vacation spot, but a tent pitched in the middle of a battlefield. When we read what is says in Micah 6:8, doing justly and loving mercy will many times require one to fully realize and act upon the spiritual battle we are in. However, all this to say that when we realize that we are all dying men- when we realize that we are "but dust" :), how the treasures of this world should fade! And that is but the PRECURSOR to what realization follows this reality: That is that we are then free to be what we were made for...that reputations, riches, fame, status won't even be remembered a century from now and should loose their shackles on our lives as we see their futility. We don't need a death sentence or a diagnosis of a terminal illness to open our eyes to the fact that this life is fleeting and that we have, indeed, been called to a work for God's glory.

Smiling, I remember my pastor (who is the son of Joseph Bayly) using a recurring phrase in his sermons when he would speak of the folly of chasing after or even giving worry to things that have no bearing on eternity: "It just don't matter..."



"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Psalm 90:12

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Clarity

Nick called me from work on Friday, April 1st, about 11am:
"I couldn't really sleep last night. I still can't decide..."

April 1st was the deadline to either accept or reject the full ride scholarship from Vanderbilt. We had until the end of that business day. I knew that Nick's heart was set on University of Virginia, a highly ranked school, but only offering a half-scholarship. We had also been waiting on Harvard.

"Tell me what you think," he said. I thoroughly and carefully gave all my reasons for going where I thought we should go, as he silently and patiently listened.

"Ok, thanks. I'll think about it more," he said before hanging up. A half hour later, he called back, still indecisive.
Again, I told him my thoughts. At the end of this particular conversation, I prayed and surrendered my will to our Sovereign God, accepting whatever would come from His hand. I knew that wherever we went, He would take care of us, and not leave us to ourselves. At a time when I would normally embrace anxiety and stress, God gave me His peace.

An hour later, Nick called and simply stated: "I just called Vanderbilt and accepted the scholarship."
My heart nearly stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief and tears stung my eyes.

This was a very difficult decision to make, especially for my husband. I can't imagine how hard he has worked the past few years, maintaining the academic standing he had while carrying two majors, and then nearly scoring perfectly on the dreadful LSAT. He chose a lesser ranked school (and yet, a solid and reputable one!) for the good of our present and future. I thank God that He shapes and molds men's hearts to be bold and strong in the work He has given them. I thank God for all of those who have kept us in prayer. I thank God for our church and the men that have become such an example to other young men, such as my husband. I am grateful that my husband loves wisdom and has done well to carry out the wisdom that has been given him.

Thanks be to God!

"The plans of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the Lord weighs the motives. Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:1-3

Monday, March 28, 2005

Law School Journey Report

After an arduous and eye-opening trip, we are safe and sound, back in Bloomington. Even with the eager anticipation of living in another place come fall, we were so happy to retreat to the comfy cradle of the home we know.

On Thursday the 17th, we left for Nashville to visit Vanderbilt. Great experience there. They completely wined and dined us...putting us up at a four-star hotel for two nights, feeding us at probably some of the most expensive restaurants in town...it was tough, but we endured. We really loved the professionalism of the school, students and faculty. They have given us the best offer thus far, and Nashville left a warm spot in my heart.

By Sunday night, we were in Durham, NC, ready to tour Duke the next day. Not impressed. Our tour guide was a complete frat boy, the library was your typical, boisterous undergrad meat market...which should not be in a graduate law school. The facilities were not that impressive. The only thing we liked was the weather.

On Tuesday, we toured the elegant, regal, stately, could-I-give-it-any-more-praise-like-adjectives University of Virginia in Charlottesville, VA. The school has a plethora of history, beginning with the founding of it by Thomas Jefferson. Many of the buildings look as if they were built in the likeness of his "Monticello." Very classy place. The students and faculty were very accommodating, friendly and professional, and the weather was beautiful. The town was gorgeous, sitting at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The atmosphere was almost majestic, and I kept hearing the Cambridge Singers' rendition of "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" running through my head. Nick had a great meeting with the dean, who informed him of his merit scholarship, although we won't know the exact amount until sometime this week.

From there, we drove about 45 minutes of the Skyline Drive, heading north. What majesty! It was absolutely breathtaking. Because one can only drive about 35 mph on that road, we had to exit onto a main highway eventually, because we had a 3 hour drive north to Pennsylvania. We stayed with my uncle and aunt that night, and got up insanely early the next morning to travel about 2 1/2 more hours to University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

Yuck.

Any delusions of grandeur that Nick may have had about living in a city of that magnitude quickly vanished. It was ugly, dirty, overcrowded, expensive, and just plain hard. People always talk about how great living in a big city is, because there is so much to do. "Yeah, " I told Nick, "IF you have the money to spend on all of it..." The Ivy League school was cold and impersonal (even the administrative staff). The facilities, as my husband put it, were stuck in the seventies.

The funny thing was, it was supposed to be rainy the whole time we had visited the other schools, and sunny the day we visited Penn. Well, just the opposite happened, adding to the loathing of not just Penn, but Philly itself. Nick said that was God's way of telling us "no" about Penn. I was quite relieved. We spent the rest of the trip visiting family in western PA and in northern Indiana- a relaxing way to end our journey.

There is a good chance we'll have our decision made up by April 1st, as that is the deadline for acceptance of the full-ride offer that Vanderbilt gave. This will be a tough one to walk away from, since we loved Virginia so much. I told Nick that I loved both Nashville and Charlottesville, and that I would be happy at either place.

We are thankful for such a successful and fun trip, and we pray that God will lead us in the right direction. We covet your prayers, also.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Terri and the hardness of hearts

I feel like a "Johnny come lately" finally writing a post about Terri Schiavo, but the more I read and hear about what is going on, the more it is in the center of my thoughts.

This reminds me of a case that my dad was involved in when he was working as an RN in a nursing home. A woman's feeding tube was removed at the request of the family, and this woman happened to expire while Dad was in the room. Another nurse turned to him and said, "You are going to have to pronounce a time of death."

"I'll have nothing to do with this," he replied and walked out.

I think that if I were to ask ten Average Joes walking down the street about the removal of feeding tubes, they would, in a parrot-like posture, give me the textbook answer about the quality of life and right to die reasons without batting an eye. They would probably even be good, upstanding (even regular church attending) citizens.

But- our hearts are hardened. In the media, in academia, in my own personal experiences...it is so uncanny how just a little poison (aka...giving Satan a foothold) will infiltrate one's mind and heart and affections in this life. I'm beginning to see that so much of this life is a spiritual battle. And while I grieve these things, I see the hope that lies in the distance. As Christians, we know the end of the story. That is our hope, and it is eternal.

So, back to Terri. If you are reading this, please pray for her. My pastor is down there and is actually preaching outside of the hospice. Please pray for a miracle. Please pray that those who will rule in this case will be able to see the truth and that Satan will flee from this situation.
Thank you.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Ten Day Journey

By the time many of you read this post, Nick and I will be on our ten day journey in search of our destination and ultimately, our home, for the next three years. As you probably already gathered from the last entry, we are looking at several law schools in the south and on the east coast. We will be returning on the eve of March 27th, so if you happen to read this before then, please pray for us. By the time we return, our decision will most likely be made. So.....

Pray that we will prayerfully consider what is before us and that we will trust God in this decision. Pray that God will put us in the right frame of mind to accept these things from His hand.
And, of course, pray for safety:)

Happy Easter to all of you, and I'll see you on the flip side.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Savior AND Lord

My husband and I are taking a trip this coming week. He has been offered an AMAZING scholarship to the law school at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, so we will begin our visit there. Then, we will journey over the Appalachian mountains :) to Durham, NC; Charlottesville, VA, and finally, University of Pennsylvania in Philly. Last weekend, we visited University of Michigan where the admissions office was "wowed" by his subtle-but-sly-bargaining-for-scholarship-money-ability:) So, we could start our life (again) in any of these places in five months. It's so strange to think that we just started our life in our little apartment here in B-ton almost five months prior.

When arriving in Bloomington over 5 years ago to start my graduate studies in opera, I had no idea that this was what was waiting for me at the other end. I remember staring at the verse I had posted on my wall in my humble boarding house room my first year as a grad student:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

I specifically remember glaring at those words, every fiber of my being inwardly retracting. I didn't want my mind to be conformed to anything but what I already knew and believed. I already accepted Christ as my Savior. I was just concerned with being acknowledged by my colleagues and faculty at the School of Music so that I could get a role, then a big role, and then have a great career. I would fit my allegiance to Christ in whenever it was convenient. He was my Savior- I didn't really NEED a Lord.

Soon after finding Church of the Good Shepherd (which I didn't like, at first:), I was befriended by a newly married woman named Dawn. She had me over for lunch one day and began telling me how she was on the brink of a huge career singing opera, and literally walked away from it when her then boyfriend, Adam, showed up in San Francisco to propose to her. As my heart sank deeper and deeper out of pity for her, her eyes became brighter and brighter as she continued with the story, exclaiming, "It's so great what the Lord has done for me!"

"Please, Lord. Don't do that for me," I silently prayed, tears stinging my eyes.

That was another thing- who WERE these people from this crazy church talking about glorifying and obeying God with your life? Why did they CARE if I was in church on Sunday or not? No, I didn't have daily devotions or read the Bible. I didn't have to, see. I already was pretty familiar with the red letters, and as long as I knew the gist of those, that was fine by me. As far as I was concerned, God knew my heart, and it was none of their business what I was doing with my life. Despite my repugnant attitude, this body of believers continued to love me as Jesus does.

And here I am, 5 years later. I am no longer in school, no longer pursuing an opera career. Instead, I am married to a man whom God has given a vision for furthering His kingdom, and I'm continually given the opportunity to witness to young girls about the importance of being "transformed by the renewing of your mind."

It's so great what the Lord has done for me.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Those things I counted loss

I have often wondered how Stephen was able to praise God while he was being stoned to death or how Paul was able to keep from becoming bitter as he was writing letters from prison. I mean, he was SAUL...educated, highly esteemed. He probably had the high life. And yet, he writes to the Philippians:
"But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of ALL THINGS and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ."
(Phil.3:7-8, emphasis mine)
As time goes on, I realize that Jesus wants my ALL THINGS. It has been so easy for me, hearing these verses over and over throughout my lifetime, to think that "all things" meant great riches or fame or a trail blazing life. As long as I'm not banking on those obvious idols, then I've given Jesus what he wants, right?

Paul was in chains when he wrote this. At that moment, was even the common good of sunlight taken away from him?

What is the "common good" among the "common" people? A car? A job? A spouse or child? The ability to enjoy the holidays with family or friends?An ankle that doesn't flare up after running one mile? These are the things that must be counted loss for the "excellency of the knowledge of Jesus Christ." This is the joy that comes with being emptied of things of the flesh and being filled with Christ so that we, as sons of God, are able to truly rejoice in all things. If I know that I am a son of God, if I can call him "Abba! Father!", my life is truly not my own and nothing in my life was truly mine to begin with. What a relief! Thanks be to God.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The Weight of Sin

I hated being spanked as a child. Sometimes, if I had done something worthy of a spanking, I would lie to prolong my "comfort," which would only reveal it's real identity- guilt- in a very short time. My rebelliousness and the lie that followed would grow heavier and heavier. If I was eluding a spanking for a short time, guilt and fear would fester itself in the pit of my stomach. There was no rest for my body or my mind. Eventually, either out of confession or Mom and Dad finding out the truth, I was punished- swiftly and sufficiently. Afterward, my backside was sore, but that subsided, along with my heavy burden of guilt.

Psalm 107:17-18 says that Israel suffered affliction from their sins, so much that they "loathed food."

The weight of sin, one could conclude, is much like physical pain. Pain was created to let us know if there is something physically wrong. Is there a cavity? A tumor? A discomfort in the stomach? Without pain, our teeth would be lost, our organs would be rotted out by cancer, and our stomachs would be eaten by ulcers. Pain drives us to seek relief- to reveal the insurgent to one who knows how to remove it.

The weight of my sin, when I was little and also now, drives me (either immediately or eventually) to repentance. The pain or affliction that I experience during my rebellion is nothing less than a gift. Just this afternoon, I was searching the scripture to address something with which I am struggling. After seeing a passage that I've seen a million times over (and probably have memorized since I was about nine years old!), I was reminded that the Word is sharper than a two-edged sword, judging the attitudes of the heart. I was cut to the quick- swiftly and sufficiently.

"My chains fell off,
My heart was free,
I rose, went forth and followed Thee."

"Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be HEALING TO YOUR FLESH AND REFRESHMENT TO YOUR BONES." (Proverbs 3:7-8, emphasis mine)

This is the continual process of sanctification, thanks be to God.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Grace and Mercy

When I was little (and even up to this day), my dad would always say this at the beginning of his prayer before dinner: "Father God, we thank You for Your grace and mercy in our lives through Christ Jesus..." I had heard it so often, I think at times my mind kind of glossed over, much like when reciting the pledge of allegiance in grade school. I think if you asked any of my four siblings if they could recite Dad's prayer, they could do it on command. How ironic that just recently, I was told that I needed to show more grace and mercy.

When I think of grace and mercy, immediately images of mother-like, beautiful and demure women come to mind. And they're always smiling and beautifully dressed in these summer-like floral dresses. They are clean and bright and lovely- in the perfect posture to give all the grace and mercy you could ever want. But these women are my emotions talking.

"Father God, we thank You for Your grace and mercy in our lives through CHRIST JESUS..."

I am quickly reminded that grace and mercy was borne on a cross. It wasn't clean and bright and lovely. People mocked it, and many still do today. Jesus said, "Take up your cross and follow me." See, I want the cross that looks like those women in the flowery dresses. That's when I'll REALLY be able to show grace and mercy. I need to shower and dress and do my hair and clean my apartment...then I'll be ready to....impress. To gain favor. Then I'll be able to give favor and grace and mercy. I am, of course, speaking tongue in cheek.

Jesus loved us while we were still yet sinners. We are commanded by Scripture to love those who persecute you. We are told by Scripture that "anger of man does not bring about the righteousness of God."

"Father God, we thank You for Your grace and mercy in our lives through Christ Jesus..."
God's truth does not return void. He blesses fathers who are faithful in bringing up their children in fear and admonition of the Lord.

Thanks, Dad.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Here goes...

I have no idea who will be reading my posts. I'll probably email my family, as they have always been the most faithful of fans. I have been after my husband, Nick, to start blogging. I think he is still attempting to perfect his first entry after starting it about a month and a half ago:) Apparently, there is an ongoing debate as to what a blog should be. Some feel (and also think, for you manlynonfeelingmen out there...:) that blogging is a sort of free, safe cyberplace to express random thoughts...a kind of an open-ended start of a dialogue for all who wish to comment or debate. The other blog theatre thinks that blogging should be meticulously thought out and presented as one would present an article for the American Journal of Medicine. I have to say, I am rather sympathetic to this view, although none of my blogs will look close to these esteemed entries. The argument for this view is something like, it used to be, in order to have one's thoughts, research and/or compiled data published, one would have to refine his logic, creative writing skills, and rhetoric in order to be worthy of being "published.."...you know, those hard bound, sometimes paper bound little rectangular things called books? To put it crudely, aimless blogging tends to celebrate "diarrhea of mouth" instead of the beautiful discipline of restraint and patience and hard work to be heard. Maybe I'm a little off the mark or not even close.

Anyway, I was inspired to begin blogging because of bloggers like Anne Wegener and her daughter, Kara. Anne is the mother of nine children and wife of husband, Tim, who is an elder at our church, Church of the Good Shepherd in Bloomington, Indiana. Kara is her daughter, who is a freshman at Purdue. Their entries have been a refreshment to me. Anne talks much about raising up her children to be godly...she has home-schooled all nine of them! Well, her youngest, Ben, is too young yet, and perhaps Paul is, too. Nonetheless, I think she is pretty amazing and her daughter, Kara, is wise beyond her years. Mrs. Wegener can be found at http://nonniesnotes.blogspot.com. Kara can be found at http://karassoapbox.blogspot.com


Someone else that I enjoy reading is Tim Bayly, who is the pastor at my church. He and his brother, David Bayly (pastor of Christ the Word in Toledo, OH) share a blog owned by worldmagblog, a sort of cyber-hybrid of World Magazine. It seems that Pastor Bayly may be of the opinion that blogging should be thoroughly constructed. He eloquently covers topics from abortion, academia, and inerrancy of scripture to grace, fatherhood, politics and weddings. Pastor Bayly has been a real father to me in the faith. His entries are challenging, intending to spur the reader to mature in truth. I highly recommend them: http://timbayly.worldmagblog.com/timbayly (Uncle Glenn, if you are reading this, I often think of you when I read Bayly. Check it out sometime.)

Please feel free to comment!