My husband and I just returned from the Nashville premiere of "Walk the Line," the story of Johnny and June Carter Cash. We had heard some great previews about it, and seeing that much of the story happened right here at home, we were excited to sort of "take part" in the history. We even purchased tickets to the Regal IMAX theatre at the Grand Olde Opry, and were especially looking forward to seeing Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon (a Nashville native) in action.
Before we left for the movie, I said to Nick, "You know, I hope this isn't some big bleeding heart plea for the legitimacy of adultery," as I knew that June Carter Cash had been married before marrying Johnny. Of course, I didn't know any of the details of her divorce (actually turned out to be two divorces), but I wasn't betting on Hollywood presenting a biblical view on the sanctity of marriage, either.
Well, once again, Hollywood didn't disappoint. As the credits were rolling at the end of the show, people were clapping while Nick and I were the only ones hanging our heads in disgust. The audience must have seen a movie about a man who was courageous or brave, who took some sort of stand for something he believed in, maybe someone who really sacrificed for the good of others. Perhaps Nick and I were watching another movie. What WE saw was a man who was childish, selfish, narcissistic, an adulterer and a drug addict. At the end, while he was calling June Carter an "angel," we were watching him continue to pursue the woman he had been pursuing while he was still married to the mother of his children. Hollywood didn't forget to stick in certain token ideologies such as, "Johnny, the reason you are such a wreck is because you don't love yourself." We could see, however, that the reason he was such a mess was that he loved himself too much and nobody else. Given that both Johnny and June were coming from broken marriages, there was also that token cameo appearance of the "tactless and uncompassionate Christian" who confronts June in a store, telling her that divorce is an abomination to the Lord and that marriage is supposed to be forever. Obviously, doing something like that WOULD be tactless and uncompassionate, but we got the point- BIBLICAL CHRISTIANITY is what is tactless and uncompassionate.
The even sicker part of all of this is that the whole of America (even many Christians) will eat this up like Christmas candy, and apply it to their own everyday ideologies: "Well, if Johnny and June Cash did it, then what's the big deal? Don't people still love and admire them? Didn't you see how June LOVED him and made him feel better about himself? Didn't you hear the beautiful music behind it? Look, he sang about Jesus...he believed in God..."
I will end by saying that I don't know what the state of their souls were when they died, so obviously I won't make a judgement there. But if what we saw of their lives from the mid-50's
to the late 60's was true, then it is a sad day when we use those scenarios to celebrate something that should be mourned.
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7 comments:
So how do you make someone understand that "divorce" is not the answer... when they have already given up on their marriage?
You can't "make" someone understand anything. If they claim Christ, then they claim what the Bible says about marriage. The Bible says that God hates divorce. It also says that a man who doesn't take care of his household is worse than a believer. If they've already given up on their marriage and are claiming Christ at the same time, then it is not a matter of "misundertstanding" or "lack of knowledge," but a matter of a rebellious heart.
I meant worse than an UNBELIEVER, not BELIEVER...SORRY!
Anonymous,
In a marriage, you are no longer you, while still being you *As one called "Anonymous" I know you understand this. ;c))
I don't always get this right, just ask my husband... but there is a great deal of relief in knowing that it's just not all about you. As a Christian, you have someone to carry you when you can't make anything work anymore. When your husband/wife just doesn't see things your way, you can go to your Father and say, "Abba, this is between you and him. If I am wrong, give me grace to see it. Help me trust you to work out the details and give me peace through it."
In my own marriage, I know that it has been pure selfishness that has brought us to the edge from time to time. This was before I realized that God has something to say about every, EVERY aspect of my life. THere was a time when I had "given up" and I told GOD that if "he" did that one more time, just once more... Then, as I was reading the Bible, God kept bringing me to places that spoke to me from God: No, that is no what I want for you, Child. I gave him to you, don't throw him away. This is my plan for you: stay with him.
Gradually, as I talked to God about this, and listened to Him through His Word, I began to sense peace in our marriage, that had never been there before; stability, love, joy and pleasantness. I seriously still am a difficult person to live with, but God is teaching me what it is to give up yourself to have life more abundantly. What better place than a marriage to teach us service and self-sacrifice.
None of this makes sense if you are not a Christian, but for a Christian, there is joy in unexpected places.
(Hi, Rebecca. I don't know if you remember me. I miss you guys, though and am happy to hear your good news!)
Rachel Pierson
CGS
On marriage... If a spouse commits adultery, does that mean that the innocent spouse needs to put up with it? If a spouse is abusive, either physically or verbally, either to the innocent spouse or to the children, do the innocent need to remain in that situation? I fully believe that marriage is for life, but I completely believe that when one spouse violates the sanctity and love vowed before God, the innocent should not have to continue to suffer.
I ask because I know a couple where the husband has NOT been a husband for most of their marriage. He is a tirant in the house, to his wife and his children, has a temper that is making everyone nervous, has disrespected his wife's requests so many times it's ridiculous, has literally USED his wife unlovingly, and has possibly cheated on her. For years he has had all the control over their finances and has never even shared with his wife how to access their accounts online, even though her paychecks get deposited, too. She has asked repeatedly and he's found ways to avoid sharing the information with her, so she was basically forced into getting her own account for her paychecks. He has denied the purchases of necessities for her, only to purchase things for himself a couple weeks later. He has denied the withdrawal of very small amounts from their VERY healthy savings for necessities.
He is not a Christian, he was never baptized, and has not really tried to learn much about his wife's faith or about any faith. He is very much focused on the material and she was not raised that way.
They've tried marriage counseling (very reluctantly on his part) and even the counselor is telling them there's not really much hope (when he/she could still be making money) because the husband sees nothing wrong with his behavior, so sees no need to change.
So, if the wife has had
it and wants to not live in stress and depression, and fear for herself and her children the rest of their
lives, does that mean that she has no right to claim Christ? She was raised in a Christian household and was raised to not believe in divorce, but this has become too much for her to handle.
Any thoughts?
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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