I'm in the middle of the finding-a-nanny-job process. It's depressing-- not because I'm job hunting, but because of what I see in the children who are screaming for their parents to discipline them. Well, not literally "screaming," but the posture of these little hearts are desperate for someone to guide them- to PARENT them.
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
(Proverbs 22:15)
For some reason, I find that many Christians who ascribe to the Bible will search high and low to find wisdom on childrearing in every form of literature but the book to which they ascribe. I was interviewing with a family who are professing Christians and attend a local PCA church. They have two sons, ages 4 and 2 1/2. They asked me to describe how I would handle a situation where a child was being beligerently disobedient. I recounted how I made a particular two year old sit on his bed for disobeying. Immediately, they looked at me in bewilderment and said, "Well.....that's interesting. What do you do if he gets up off the bed???" My brain was wildly rolling it's eyes and sighing heavily. I spent the afternoon with this family, as per the mother's request, to see if I was a right "fit." Fair enough, and thank God for it. I helplessly looked on as the mother tried to engage her young sons in some games. The older brother was extremely demanding and would often hurt the younger. There was no recourse for this, no teaching this little tyrant that that was unacceptable behavior. Just much begging and pleading: "Hey boys, look at Mommy!" (Clumsily doing a somersault). "Ok! Now you guys do the same!" (Younger Brother enthusiastically attempts to please Mommy by mimicking her...no- too late- Edler Brother pushes him over and proceeds with his rendition of the game...) I don't recall that "Mommy" ever used the word "no." I can't tell you how painful it was to keep from suggesting: " I think that if you told Junior that if he disobeyed you again that you would give him a spanking, and then followed through with it, you would see much progress in his behavior, and subsequently, his attitude."
I tried to feel sorry for this family, thinking that maybe I could "help" them. But then as they began to explain that their last nanny just didn't work out because she was from the "days when they just spanked for everything...", I realized that this would be a hopelessly depressing position to be in, helplessly watching their little monsters turn into bigger and better ones and the late 30-something parents quickly turning into 60-year old slaves.
The really sick part of this all-too-common scenario is that the "child psychology" industry (notice I said "industry" and not "field") is making a killing off of this. Countless books, seminars, videos, tapes will talk about the evils of spanking, but there are about 2, 546 alternative, herbal ways to have a "happier, healthier" (aka..selfish) child. However, the trick is, Mom and Dad, to find just the "right" method that works for you. Hope you have alot of money saved up to do this, because the publishers of this garbage are already laughing all the way to the bank!
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7 comments:
Here's what is so sad: nobody will like these children once they grow up. People will say, "He's such an a--hole" or "she's so selfish." People will dislike them for the way they are. The undisciplined child will receive every ounce of the blame for acting the way he does. These parents, in not wanting to hurt their children's precious little bums and toddler feelings, are ruining their lives. They will suffer unbelievable pain and they will cause others incredible amounts of pain until they die. It is a sin of massive consequences.
Forgive me for writing so strongly about it, but it is perhaps one of the most wicked acts of neglect possible. The question we should all be asking is this: What will the world look like once these monsters are running it? How, pray tell, will they then raise their children?
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Yeah, I agree Nick. Take me for example- I was only got a spanking about 5 times total as a child. Now that I am ruling the world, the whole place is just a mess.
I'm sorry my lack of back side pain as a child has caused the world so much grief. All in good jest
Mrs. Pickett
What the ? How the ? Whoa'j ....
I run the freakin' world, missie! I don't know who gave you your information. And you want to talk about an intact posterior? Check out mine! Well, don't really check it out; just take my word for it. But yeah, I mean if I'da just been whooped a few more times, I'd be like nice and stuff.
-Nick
I agree with you in many points. However, Johnny Cash, although his mistakes were many, ended up being a christian man from what i see in his later life. The movie showed what he really did, and from what i saw, not particulary in a good light. I did not like how they made his first wife look bad, because she seemed like a good woman, but i enjoyed the movie. How i look at it, in the end, is that God worked through Cash and June despite their prior sins, and that should be encouraging. I enjoyed reading your comments!
Yes, I did hear that Johnny and June did become Christians, and I was very glad to hear that they did. My point was not to make judgment on "that terrible Mr. and Mrs. Cash." My point was that Hollywood glorified Johnny and June by showing the his "redemption" was that he cleaned himself up (drug detox) and he got the girl he really loved in the end. From the world's perspective, that is redemption, but from a Christian perspective, it is not. Thank you for your comment!
Well, I definitely know of plenty people who had their rears tanned for everything who STILL ended up in all kinds of trouble, and some, when the physical discipline has gone too far, ended up abused and became either abusers or criminals. I don't think spanking for every single thing is going to solve the world's problems, but I don't think reasonable spanking should be deemed abuse.
I have spanked one of my children. There are times that I think too much. There are certain things that have come up as my child has gotten older, that have happened, that make me really question my doing so as much as I did in the younger years. I'm not saying that there is no place for spanking. I just think that there are other means of discipline that might be more appropriate in some situations.
I was spanked some, though not all the time. As I grew older, things like restrictions and groundings were far more effective. I was generally a good kid, but I had my moments. Was I scarred by being spanked? No. But I wasn't spanked for everything under the sun, either.
This is not to say that I don't believe in discipline! I do! I'm not one of these parents who simply "sets healthy boundaries" and assumes the children are not going to try and take advantage of them. Some parents are like that. I guess I'm just thinking that spanking needs to be tempered with some other means of discipline. And of course, if parents are going to spank, then it needs to be done calmly and firmly, not in an out-of-control, abusive way.
The big trick with corporal punishment is knowing your own limits. Otherwise, temper can really get out of hand, and a simple spanking can quickly turn into a beating.
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