Savior AND Lord

My husband and I are taking a trip this coming week. He has been offered an AMAZING scholarship to the law school at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, so we will begin our visit there. Then, we will journey over the Appalachian mountains :) to Durham, NC; Charlottesville, VA, and finally, University of Pennsylvania in Philly. Last weekend, we visited University of Michigan where the admissions office was "wowed" by his subtle-but-sly-bargaining-for-scholarship-money-ability:) So, we could start our life (again) in any of these places in five months. It's so strange to think that we just started our life in our little apartment here in B-ton almost five months prior.

When arriving in Bloomington over 5 years ago to start my graduate studies in opera, I had no idea that this was what was waiting for me at the other end. I remember staring at the verse I had posted on my wall in my humble boarding house room my first year as a grad student:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

I specifically remember glaring at those words, every fiber of my being inwardly retracting. I didn't want my mind to be conformed to anything but what I already knew and believed. I already accepted Christ as my Savior. I was just concerned with being acknowledged by my colleagues and faculty at the School of Music so that I could get a role, then a big role, and then have a great career. I would fit my allegiance to Christ in whenever it was convenient. He was my Savior- I didn't really NEED a Lord.

Soon after finding Church of the Good Shepherd (which I didn't like, at first:), I was befriended by a newly married woman named Dawn. She had me over for lunch one day and began telling me how she was on the brink of a huge career singing opera, and literally walked away from it when her then boyfriend, Adam, showed up in San Francisco to propose to her. As my heart sank deeper and deeper out of pity for her, her eyes became brighter and brighter as she continued with the story, exclaiming, "It's so great what the Lord has done for me!"

"Please, Lord. Don't do that for me," I silently prayed, tears stinging my eyes.

That was another thing- who WERE these people from this crazy church talking about glorifying and obeying God with your life? Why did they CARE if I was in church on Sunday or not? No, I didn't have daily devotions or read the Bible. I didn't have to, see. I already was pretty familiar with the red letters, and as long as I knew the gist of those, that was fine by me. As far as I was concerned, God knew my heart, and it was none of their business what I was doing with my life. Despite my repugnant attitude, this body of believers continued to love me as Jesus does.

And here I am, 5 years later. I am no longer in school, no longer pursuing an opera career. Instead, I am married to a man whom God has given a vision for furthering His kingdom, and I'm continually given the opportunity to witness to young girls about the importance of being "transformed by the renewing of your mind."

It's so great what the Lord has done for me.