His Ways Are Not Our Ways

A few months after I found out that we were pregnant, my husband downloaded one of Bill Cosby's clips on natural childbirth and the experience that he and his wife had, embellishments and all. My mom had had three of the five of her kids at home, and Nick and I were intrigued by the thought of being as organic with this as possible. We read books, went to childbirth classes, talked to countless people who had experienced natural childbirth and/or otherwise for themselves. We got the birthing ball, packed all the paraphernalia for distraction and pain management. When I found out that I was 1 cm dilated, we "upped" all that we could do to keep dilation and effacement in progress, eventually bringing on labor.

On Tuesday, I bounded into my midwife's office with excitement, waiting to hear of the fruits of our labor within the last week. Great news: I was three cm dilated and nearly fully effaced. Then the bomb dropped: He was breech! My eyes filled with tears and my heart sank with disappointment. I couldn't believe that this was happening- he had been head down for the last two months! This meant no more birthing ball. No more getting to apply everything we learned. No more hope of Nick catching the baby. This meant a c-section. And I was terrified.

So, we unpacked and re-packed our bag accordingly. I felt like I had studied for the wrong test, so to speak, as I knew plenty about natural childbirth and practically nothing about c-sections, besides the horrible and gruesome video we watched of one in our childbirth classes. While on bedrest, I was able to glean information off the internet and from kind women offering their testimonies of their experiences with c-sections, scheduled or emergency. Feeling a bit better by the big day, we made our way to the hospital. My husband kept saying, "Just think, Sweetheart. This is the last time you'll leave this house pregnant. This is the last time we'll get into our car without a born baby, etc., etc." Even though the fear was great about going under the knife (having never had even a trace of stitches or I.V. or anything of the sort), it was subsiding enough to concentrate on the exciting prospect of bring our precious son home. I could tell that Nick was growing more and more excited, too.

We got into the prep room, and before the nurse brought in the equipment to start the I.V., Nick said, "Could we please have an ultrasound, just to make sure that the baby is still breech before doing the surgery?" Another twist: His head was down again! I dissolved into tears out of relief that the c-section was no longer necessary. We immediately started talking about the possibility of induction, but after much discussion and advice from the doctor, we decided to take this gift that the Lord had given us (the baby turning) and go back to our original plan of waiting for natural childbirth. It was a mixed bag of emotions, of course, because first of all, who wants a c-section?? But we had also emotionally and mentally geared up to be holding him in our arms within the next few hours. Right now, he is still kicking happily in my womb, lodging his little feet in my ribs.

Before the procedure, our pastor came to the hospital to pray with us. By the time he got there, we had just found out that the baby was head down. He said that it seemed that God was blessing us with the desires of our heart, because even when we found out that the baby was breech a few days ago and were devastated, we still proclaimed that God was good and we trusted Him. What a peculiar roller coaster ride this has been thus far! But I know that God has a reason for all that happens, and He will bring little Thomas into this world in His good time.