God Is Not the Author of Confusion

For the first time in sixteen years, I do not have a job (and am not scrambling to look for one!). Well, I don't have "job" in the post-modern sense. I am a housewife. It's really neat how this works. Check it out:

1. The alarm goes off in the morning. I get up and proceed to make my husband breakfast and coffee (that he can take with him to work) and pack his lunch.

2. Nick leaves for work. I eat my breakfast, do devotions and check email. I make a list for myself detailing the work for the day and proceed to do them in that order. For probably the first time in my life, I am able to accomplish all of these things pretty consistently. This includes all housework, shopping (and having the time to find the lowest price for things) cleaning, organizing, mailing, sufficient Bible reading and prayer (it's amazing how much I can actually pray for other people instead of letting it fall by the wayside like I used to do), exercise (which makes me happy and makes my husband happy:), and cooking. I also am able to minister to those who need it. I have been able to visit and meet with those who need prayer and encouragement or just a friend to hang out with. I am able to give myself to the needs of our church without feeling harried or stressed out, thinking, "Great. One more thing I have to put on my schedule....and I still haven't gotten my laundry done!"

3. Nick leaves for work and is able to immerse himself completely in what he has been called to do: provide. He doesn't worry about the things that needed mailing or the transactions that had to be made at the bank. They've already been made- by me. He is able to keep our cars all lubed up and running. He is not thinking, "Oh, when am I going to fit in the oil change?! It is my turn to do laundry this week, and it just keeps piling up!"
Our finances run systematically, because when he comes home from work, there is a meal waiting on the table, and everything is in its place. After his stomach is nice and full, his glucose level goes up, blood pressure goes down, and he is able to give a bit more concentration to organizing our finances on our computer. Then, we actually have time to spend together and put energy into our marriage. Given that the divorce rate is currently about fifty percent in the U.S., I deem this pretty important.

Now, it may seem like I'm coming off as arrogant or "holier-than-thou," but let me explain. When we got married just six months ago, Nick and I were both working. I still did much of the household duties (and he would do a significant amount, also). We were still trying to adjust to two people living as one flesh. To put it quite plainly, we were running ragged. Everything was always a mess. Everything was turning into "just one more thing we have to take care of..." or,
"Did you do such and such today?"

"No, I thought you were going to take care of that."

"Well, yeah, on my lunch break...but then we just got so busy and traffic was terrible and there was a long line...."

My point is there is now order and not confusion. This makes life much sweeter. It makes our household sweeter and our marriage sweeter. It provides a way for us to give to others with a sweeter countenance. Now, I can already hear the objections:

"Well, what if you can't afford to live off of just one income?"

"My mother raised six kids, PLUS had a full-time job, PLUS ran the PTA, AND wrote and published her own book on how to do all these things before the sixth child was out of the house..." (My reply to this is: Ummm..when?? At three in the morning when her children were sleeping? Did she then rise cheerfully before her own children to cook them breakfast and to see them off to school? Did she go and do a stellar job at her workplace because she had the proper amount of sleep and was able to fully concentrate? Was she able to be there completely for her husband and children after school and work?) My point is that in this scenario, something would have had to ultimately suffer, and I am hard pressed to think that a boss at work would have put up with anything suffering on his clock.

At my last job, my assistant branch manager was amazing. She knew how to do EVERYTHING. She always ran around like a chicken with her head cut off, but ready to greet everyone with a Coke and a smile. She probably put in about 70 hours a week at work. However, I always noticed that she looked exhausted. She had not much time for proper sleep or exercise. She complained about her "pudgy belly." There were always these big, dark circles under her eyes. After making the comment that she should take a vacation, she replied, "Oh, I have one coming up next week."
"Great! " I said. "Are you going to go anywhere?"

"No, " she said. "Bert (her husband) and I have to clean the house."

Now keep in mind that on top of being Superwoman at work (and I'm not being facetious here, she truly was), she DID do alot of housework even when she wasn't on vacation. But somehow, it wasn't enough, and she became a slave to toil and lost the notion of enjoying rest with her husband.

I know, I know. I'm naive and newly married without children. True. But I look at it this way: Would you train a runner by saying, "Ok, you are going to run a marathon tomorrow. You can't stop and you can't walk. But you have to finish the race. If you are sick, exhausted, throwing up, delirious, too bad. Everyone else does it, so buck up."? Eventually, I know that I will have children. I know that everything won't be as cut and dry as it is now. I know that I will have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning because of a screaming infant or I will have to stop whatever chore I'm doing because little Nicky Jr. threw up all over the couch. But, by God's grace, I will be able to run that marathon with a little more stamina and preparation by preparing for it now.

This is all to say that there is something to be said for reading God's Word and seeing what He values and sees as important. He sees the importance of a wife as a "help meet" for her husband. In Genesis 2, God said that Adam needed a "helper." In biblical times, a newly married couple just spent time with each other the first year of their marriage. People knew the hardships that came with life, and they understood the importance of strengthening the home from the very beginning. In Proverbs 31, it says that an excellent wife is worth far more than rubies. It goes on to say that her energies are toward her husband and household. She clothes them, watches over her household, she has time to reach out her hand to the poor and needy, she smiles at the future, and her children and husband call her blessed. That's what the Bible says, anyway. The covers of Cosmo, Self, First, and Glamour show an air-brushed, perfectly shaped and put together woman with headlines such as:
"How to have a perfect house, garden, body, dinner party, sex life, children (when they're convenient, of course!) and career in just 10 easy steps!" (In the meantime, the bottom left-hand corner of the cover displays a shot of Hollywood's hottest couple in cahoots. Guess the ten step airbrushed plan didn't work so well for them...).

I am getting to the point after belaboring it to death. God is not the author of confusion. His yoke IS easy and His government IS light. My home and marriage are not perfect, but my husband and I are continuing to see that the more we trust God and take Him at His word, the less confusion there is and the sweeter life is. By this, we are glorifying Him. We only see this by His grace (not by our own intellect or pride), and we pray that He will continue to show His truth and mercy in our lives as we walk by faith and not by sight.

"Well, Rebecca...nice to see that you have all this time to blog!" Alright, alright, alright...back to my housework! :)



Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Ps. 34:8

An Eternal Perspective

I've been reading "Out of My Mind" by the late Joseph T. Bayly. This book is a collection of articles from his column that once appeared in Eternity magazine. In his article from June 1964, he tells a story of a church editor who announced that he had colon cancer. An "old war horse" of a man replied, "Good. Thank God for it. You don't begin to live until you know you are going to die."

"Dying men aren't afraid of their reputations. And they throw everything into battle." (Bayly, 1964). This got me thinking: Aren't we all dying men? The men listening to the tragic news of this church editor's cancer were no less dying than the man with the cancer himself. I think of people who are in their fifties, and most probably, they will be with us for about twenty or thirty some odd years according to medical studies on today's human life span. I am thirty. This means, unless the Lord takes me sooner, I'll be here for another forty to fifty years or so. Most people that have gone before us have been dust for at least twenty lifetimes.

What does that do to the psyche to realize that?

When I realized this last night as I read Bayly's article, it revealed freedom. It made me realize that to cling to this life is akin to clinging to smoke vapors and to cling to the treasures of this world is truly a waste of time and of a life. I thought about all the people who have gone before. Did they realize that their riches or even want of riches would be irrelevant in the reality of heaven or hell? Ok, maybe "riches" is too cliche. What about careers or social standing? What about beauty or fitness?

So, this begs the question: What on earth are we here for and where do we go at the end? I'm not going to answer this by prefacing, "Because I am Christian, I believe..." or "According to the new best-seller, The Purpose Driven Life..." I will simply say the Bible says many things in answer to this question. I am not a theologian and not articulate enough to delve into an entire dissertation, but I will say that in Micah 6:8, it states: "He has showed you, o man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."


Now, I've gotten off on a bit of a tangent, and Bayly's article was titled "Join the Church and Escape," as he exhorted Christians not to think of the church as a vacation spot, but a tent pitched in the middle of a battlefield. When we read what is says in Micah 6:8, doing justly and loving mercy will many times require one to fully realize and act upon the spiritual battle we are in. However, all this to say that when we realize that we are all dying men- when we realize that we are "but dust" :), how the treasures of this world should fade! And that is but the PRECURSOR to what realization follows this reality: That is that we are then free to be what we were made for...that reputations, riches, fame, status won't even be remembered a century from now and should loose their shackles on our lives as we see their futility. We don't need a death sentence or a diagnosis of a terminal illness to open our eyes to the fact that this life is fleeting and that we have, indeed, been called to a work for God's glory.

Smiling, I remember my pastor (who is the son of Joseph Bayly) using a recurring phrase in his sermons when he would speak of the folly of chasing after or even giving worry to things that have no bearing on eternity: "It just don't matter..."



"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Psalm 90:12

Clarity

Nick called me from work on Friday, April 1st, about 11am:
"I couldn't really sleep last night. I still can't decide..."

April 1st was the deadline to either accept or reject the full ride scholarship from Vanderbilt. We had until the end of that business day. I knew that Nick's heart was set on University of Virginia, a highly ranked school, but only offering a half-scholarship. We had also been waiting on Harvard.

"Tell me what you think," he said. I thoroughly and carefully gave all my reasons for going where I thought we should go, as he silently and patiently listened.

"Ok, thanks. I'll think about it more," he said before hanging up. A half hour later, he called back, still indecisive.
Again, I told him my thoughts. At the end of this particular conversation, I prayed and surrendered my will to our Sovereign God, accepting whatever would come from His hand. I knew that wherever we went, He would take care of us, and not leave us to ourselves. At a time when I would normally embrace anxiety and stress, God gave me His peace.

An hour later, Nick called and simply stated: "I just called Vanderbilt and accepted the scholarship."
My heart nearly stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief and tears stung my eyes.

This was a very difficult decision to make, especially for my husband. I can't imagine how hard he has worked the past few years, maintaining the academic standing he had while carrying two majors, and then nearly scoring perfectly on the dreadful LSAT. He chose a lesser ranked school (and yet, a solid and reputable one!) for the good of our present and future. I thank God that He shapes and molds men's hearts to be bold and strong in the work He has given them. I thank God for all of those who have kept us in prayer. I thank God for our church and the men that have become such an example to other young men, such as my husband. I am grateful that my husband loves wisdom and has done well to carry out the wisdom that has been given him.

Thanks be to God!

"The plans of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the Lord weighs the motives. Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:1-3