Law School Journey Report

After an arduous and eye-opening trip, we are safe and sound, back in Bloomington. Even with the eager anticipation of living in another place come fall, we were so happy to retreat to the comfy cradle of the home we know.

On Thursday the 17th, we left for Nashville to visit Vanderbilt. Great experience there. They completely wined and dined us...putting us up at a four-star hotel for two nights, feeding us at probably some of the most expensive restaurants in town...it was tough, but we endured. We really loved the professionalism of the school, students and faculty. They have given us the best offer thus far, and Nashville left a warm spot in my heart.

By Sunday night, we were in Durham, NC, ready to tour Duke the next day. Not impressed. Our tour guide was a complete frat boy, the library was your typical, boisterous undergrad meat market...which should not be in a graduate law school. The facilities were not that impressive. The only thing we liked was the weather.

On Tuesday, we toured the elegant, regal, stately, could-I-give-it-any-more-praise-like-adjectives University of Virginia in Charlottesville, VA. The school has a plethora of history, beginning with the founding of it by Thomas Jefferson. Many of the buildings look as if they were built in the likeness of his "Monticello." Very classy place. The students and faculty were very accommodating, friendly and professional, and the weather was beautiful. The town was gorgeous, sitting at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The atmosphere was almost majestic, and I kept hearing the Cambridge Singers' rendition of "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" running through my head. Nick had a great meeting with the dean, who informed him of his merit scholarship, although we won't know the exact amount until sometime this week.

From there, we drove about 45 minutes of the Skyline Drive, heading north. What majesty! It was absolutely breathtaking. Because one can only drive about 35 mph on that road, we had to exit onto a main highway eventually, because we had a 3 hour drive north to Pennsylvania. We stayed with my uncle and aunt that night, and got up insanely early the next morning to travel about 2 1/2 more hours to University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

Yuck.

Any delusions of grandeur that Nick may have had about living in a city of that magnitude quickly vanished. It was ugly, dirty, overcrowded, expensive, and just plain hard. People always talk about how great living in a big city is, because there is so much to do. "Yeah, " I told Nick, "IF you have the money to spend on all of it..." The Ivy League school was cold and impersonal (even the administrative staff). The facilities, as my husband put it, were stuck in the seventies.

The funny thing was, it was supposed to be rainy the whole time we had visited the other schools, and sunny the day we visited Penn. Well, just the opposite happened, adding to the loathing of not just Penn, but Philly itself. Nick said that was God's way of telling us "no" about Penn. I was quite relieved. We spent the rest of the trip visiting family in western PA and in northern Indiana- a relaxing way to end our journey.

There is a good chance we'll have our decision made up by April 1st, as that is the deadline for acceptance of the full-ride offer that Vanderbilt gave. This will be a tough one to walk away from, since we loved Virginia so much. I told Nick that I loved both Nashville and Charlottesville, and that I would be happy at either place.

We are thankful for such a successful and fun trip, and we pray that God will lead us in the right direction. We covet your prayers, also.

Terri and the hardness of hearts

I feel like a "Johnny come lately" finally writing a post about Terri Schiavo, but the more I read and hear about what is going on, the more it is in the center of my thoughts.

This reminds me of a case that my dad was involved in when he was working as an RN in a nursing home. A woman's feeding tube was removed at the request of the family, and this woman happened to expire while Dad was in the room. Another nurse turned to him and said, "You are going to have to pronounce a time of death."

"I'll have nothing to do with this," he replied and walked out.

I think that if I were to ask ten Average Joes walking down the street about the removal of feeding tubes, they would, in a parrot-like posture, give me the textbook answer about the quality of life and right to die reasons without batting an eye. They would probably even be good, upstanding (even regular church attending) citizens.

But- our hearts are hardened. In the media, in academia, in my own personal experiences...it is so uncanny how just a little poison (aka...giving Satan a foothold) will infiltrate one's mind and heart and affections in this life. I'm beginning to see that so much of this life is a spiritual battle. And while I grieve these things, I see the hope that lies in the distance. As Christians, we know the end of the story. That is our hope, and it is eternal.

So, back to Terri. If you are reading this, please pray for her. My pastor is down there and is actually preaching outside of the hospice. Please pray for a miracle. Please pray that those who will rule in this case will be able to see the truth and that Satan will flee from this situation.
Thank you.

Ten Day Journey

By the time many of you read this post, Nick and I will be on our ten day journey in search of our destination and ultimately, our home, for the next three years. As you probably already gathered from the last entry, we are looking at several law schools in the south and on the east coast. We will be returning on the eve of March 27th, so if you happen to read this before then, please pray for us. By the time we return, our decision will most likely be made. So.....

Pray that we will prayerfully consider what is before us and that we will trust God in this decision. Pray that God will put us in the right frame of mind to accept these things from His hand.
And, of course, pray for safety:)

Happy Easter to all of you, and I'll see you on the flip side.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Savior AND Lord

My husband and I are taking a trip this coming week. He has been offered an AMAZING scholarship to the law school at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, so we will begin our visit there. Then, we will journey over the Appalachian mountains :) to Durham, NC; Charlottesville, VA, and finally, University of Pennsylvania in Philly. Last weekend, we visited University of Michigan where the admissions office was "wowed" by his subtle-but-sly-bargaining-for-scholarship-money-ability:) So, we could start our life (again) in any of these places in five months. It's so strange to think that we just started our life in our little apartment here in B-ton almost five months prior.

When arriving in Bloomington over 5 years ago to start my graduate studies in opera, I had no idea that this was what was waiting for me at the other end. I remember staring at the verse I had posted on my wall in my humble boarding house room my first year as a grad student:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

I specifically remember glaring at those words, every fiber of my being inwardly retracting. I didn't want my mind to be conformed to anything but what I already knew and believed. I already accepted Christ as my Savior. I was just concerned with being acknowledged by my colleagues and faculty at the School of Music so that I could get a role, then a big role, and then have a great career. I would fit my allegiance to Christ in whenever it was convenient. He was my Savior- I didn't really NEED a Lord.

Soon after finding Church of the Good Shepherd (which I didn't like, at first:), I was befriended by a newly married woman named Dawn. She had me over for lunch one day and began telling me how she was on the brink of a huge career singing opera, and literally walked away from it when her then boyfriend, Adam, showed up in San Francisco to propose to her. As my heart sank deeper and deeper out of pity for her, her eyes became brighter and brighter as she continued with the story, exclaiming, "It's so great what the Lord has done for me!"

"Please, Lord. Don't do that for me," I silently prayed, tears stinging my eyes.

That was another thing- who WERE these people from this crazy church talking about glorifying and obeying God with your life? Why did they CARE if I was in church on Sunday or not? No, I didn't have daily devotions or read the Bible. I didn't have to, see. I already was pretty familiar with the red letters, and as long as I knew the gist of those, that was fine by me. As far as I was concerned, God knew my heart, and it was none of their business what I was doing with my life. Despite my repugnant attitude, this body of believers continued to love me as Jesus does.

And here I am, 5 years later. I am no longer in school, no longer pursuing an opera career. Instead, I am married to a man whom God has given a vision for furthering His kingdom, and I'm continually given the opportunity to witness to young girls about the importance of being "transformed by the renewing of your mind."

It's so great what the Lord has done for me.

Those things I counted loss

I have often wondered how Stephen was able to praise God while he was being stoned to death or how Paul was able to keep from becoming bitter as he was writing letters from prison. I mean, he was SAUL...educated, highly esteemed. He probably had the high life. And yet, he writes to the Philippians:
"But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of ALL THINGS and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ."
(Phil.3:7-8, emphasis mine)
As time goes on, I realize that Jesus wants my ALL THINGS. It has been so easy for me, hearing these verses over and over throughout my lifetime, to think that "all things" meant great riches or fame or a trail blazing life. As long as I'm not banking on those obvious idols, then I've given Jesus what he wants, right?

Paul was in chains when he wrote this. At that moment, was even the common good of sunlight taken away from him?

What is the "common good" among the "common" people? A car? A job? A spouse or child? The ability to enjoy the holidays with family or friends?An ankle that doesn't flare up after running one mile? These are the things that must be counted loss for the "excellency of the knowledge of Jesus Christ." This is the joy that comes with being emptied of things of the flesh and being filled with Christ so that we, as sons of God, are able to truly rejoice in all things. If I know that I am a son of God, if I can call him "Abba! Father!", my life is truly not my own and nothing in my life was truly mine to begin with. What a relief! Thanks be to God.

The Weight of Sin

I hated being spanked as a child. Sometimes, if I had done something worthy of a spanking, I would lie to prolong my "comfort," which would only reveal it's real identity- guilt- in a very short time. My rebelliousness and the lie that followed would grow heavier and heavier. If I was eluding a spanking for a short time, guilt and fear would fester itself in the pit of my stomach. There was no rest for my body or my mind. Eventually, either out of confession or Mom and Dad finding out the truth, I was punished- swiftly and sufficiently. Afterward, my backside was sore, but that subsided, along with my heavy burden of guilt.

Psalm 107:17-18 says that Israel suffered affliction from their sins, so much that they "loathed food."

The weight of sin, one could conclude, is much like physical pain. Pain was created to let us know if there is something physically wrong. Is there a cavity? A tumor? A discomfort in the stomach? Without pain, our teeth would be lost, our organs would be rotted out by cancer, and our stomachs would be eaten by ulcers. Pain drives us to seek relief- to reveal the insurgent to one who knows how to remove it.

The weight of my sin, when I was little and also now, drives me (either immediately or eventually) to repentance. The pain or affliction that I experience during my rebellion is nothing less than a gift. Just this afternoon, I was searching the scripture to address something with which I am struggling. After seeing a passage that I've seen a million times over (and probably have memorized since I was about nine years old!), I was reminded that the Word is sharper than a two-edged sword, judging the attitudes of the heart. I was cut to the quick- swiftly and sufficiently.

"My chains fell off,
My heart was free,
I rose, went forth and followed Thee."

"Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be HEALING TO YOUR FLESH AND REFRESHMENT TO YOUR BONES." (Proverbs 3:7-8, emphasis mine)

This is the continual process of sanctification, thanks be to God.

Grace and Mercy

When I was little (and even up to this day), my dad would always say this at the beginning of his prayer before dinner: "Father God, we thank You for Your grace and mercy in our lives through Christ Jesus..." I had heard it so often, I think at times my mind kind of glossed over, much like when reciting the pledge of allegiance in grade school. I think if you asked any of my four siblings if they could recite Dad's prayer, they could do it on command. How ironic that just recently, I was told that I needed to show more grace and mercy.

When I think of grace and mercy, immediately images of mother-like, beautiful and demure women come to mind. And they're always smiling and beautifully dressed in these summer-like floral dresses. They are clean and bright and lovely- in the perfect posture to give all the grace and mercy you could ever want. But these women are my emotions talking.

"Father God, we thank You for Your grace and mercy in our lives through CHRIST JESUS..."

I am quickly reminded that grace and mercy was borne on a cross. It wasn't clean and bright and lovely. People mocked it, and many still do today. Jesus said, "Take up your cross and follow me." See, I want the cross that looks like those women in the flowery dresses. That's when I'll REALLY be able to show grace and mercy. I need to shower and dress and do my hair and clean my apartment...then I'll be ready to....impress. To gain favor. Then I'll be able to give favor and grace and mercy. I am, of course, speaking tongue in cheek.

Jesus loved us while we were still yet sinners. We are commanded by Scripture to love those who persecute you. We are told by Scripture that "anger of man does not bring about the righteousness of God."

"Father God, we thank You for Your grace and mercy in our lives through Christ Jesus..."
God's truth does not return void. He blesses fathers who are faithful in bringing up their children in fear and admonition of the Lord.

Thanks, Dad.

Here goes...

I have no idea who will be reading my posts. I'll probably email my family, as they have always been the most faithful of fans. I have been after my husband, Nick, to start blogging. I think he is still attempting to perfect his first entry after starting it about a month and a half ago:) Apparently, there is an ongoing debate as to what a blog should be. Some feel (and also think, for you manlynonfeelingmen out there...:) that blogging is a sort of free, safe cyberplace to express random thoughts...a kind of an open-ended start of a dialogue for all who wish to comment or debate. The other blog theatre thinks that blogging should be meticulously thought out and presented as one would present an article for the American Journal of Medicine. I have to say, I am rather sympathetic to this view, although none of my blogs will look close to these esteemed entries. The argument for this view is something like, it used to be, in order to have one's thoughts, research and/or compiled data published, one would have to refine his logic, creative writing skills, and rhetoric in order to be worthy of being "published.."...you know, those hard bound, sometimes paper bound little rectangular things called books? To put it crudely, aimless blogging tends to celebrate "diarrhea of mouth" instead of the beautiful discipline of restraint and patience and hard work to be heard. Maybe I'm a little off the mark or not even close.

Anyway, I was inspired to begin blogging because of bloggers like Anne Wegener and her daughter, Kara. Anne is the mother of nine children and wife of husband, Tim, who is an elder at our church, Church of the Good Shepherd in Bloomington, Indiana. Kara is her daughter, who is a freshman at Purdue. Their entries have been a refreshment to me. Anne talks much about raising up her children to be godly...she has home-schooled all nine of them! Well, her youngest, Ben, is too young yet, and perhaps Paul is, too. Nonetheless, I think she is pretty amazing and her daughter, Kara, is wise beyond her years. Mrs. Wegener can be found at http://nonniesnotes.blogspot.com. Kara can be found at http://karassoapbox.blogspot.com


Someone else that I enjoy reading is Tim Bayly, who is the pastor at my church. He and his brother, David Bayly (pastor of Christ the Word in Toledo, OH) share a blog owned by worldmagblog, a sort of cyber-hybrid of World Magazine. It seems that Pastor Bayly may be of the opinion that blogging should be thoroughly constructed. He eloquently covers topics from abortion, academia, and inerrancy of scripture to grace, fatherhood, politics and weddings. Pastor Bayly has been a real father to me in the faith. His entries are challenging, intending to spur the reader to mature in truth. I highly recommend them: http://timbayly.worldmagblog.com/timbayly (Uncle Glenn, if you are reading this, I often think of you when I read Bayly. Check it out sometime.)

Please feel free to comment!